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ElderHonor

Honor - Knowledge - Life

David Moyer

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John Oliver takes on Long Term Care

Earlier this week, John Oliver released a video criticizing the Long-Term Care industry, pointing out some awful actors’ appalling practices. The video’s link is below but be warned; there is very explicit language that he uses throughout the video.

First, let me highlight that the industry does have serious flaws with particular companies that are more profit than care-oriented. Many others focus on care and are not putting money first. These facilities care deeply for their residents and go beyond the call to take care of them.

Mom was in a good facility.

That was the case with my Mom, who recently passed a month short of her 95th birthday. The staff in her facility loved her and were genuinely sorry to see her go. The facility followed all precautions for COVID, much to my annoyance as I could not be with her, but we understood why. Staff cared for her when we couldn’t be there then arranged in-person visits when the situation allowed. She will be greatly missed.

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April is Financial Literacy Month

A brief reminder to look out for your parent’s financial wellbeing during this unprecedented time.

April is Financial Literacy month in North America. During this time, we should take a close view at the financial strains we may be experiencing, but more importantly, our parents. If they are well into their retirement years, take this opportunity to help them assess or reassess their finances. One of the biggest fears most have of retiring is outlasting monies saved for this time of life. Don’t underestimate this point; it can be a stress point that may not be visible to you but is always on their minds.

Start simple

Photo by William Iven on Unsplash

You can start with a simple cash flow analysis. What is your parent’s income, and what are their expenses each month? Pensions and benefits are generally paid monthly, while annuities tend to be on a quarterly schedule. Ask about all types of income and expenses, so you have a full picture. Once done, you know if they have enough money each month and potentially what they need to cut back on or put into other assets.  

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Is your parent on lockdown? Give them more attention.

Photo by Nick Karvounis on Unsplash

More of the population around the world are in lockdown situations than ever before in history. Even more are asked to maintain social distancing from others.  Given that people with chronic conditions and people over 65 are at high risk, many retirement communities and nursing homes have been in lockdown for the past several weeks.  This compounds an already growing problem of isolation and loneliness experienced by many, as noted in a previous article.

Many families have several generations living in the same home.  This has, unfortunately, led to a higher rate of infections in those homes, putting many more at risk.  Others have taken the road of living separated from family in different dwellings, states/provinces, or even countries.  This is a time of high conflict in wanting to be with family but also wanting to keep them safe by not being physically close.  What can we do then during this time?

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Loneliness kills. So, don’t let it!

My Dad was in the Army and was one of the thousands that were caught in a bombing raid that ended up killing over 2,400 soldiers and civilians in less than two hours. Most of his fellow soldiers were in their early 20’s, he was 19 years old experiencing being strafed by planes and watching his friends die. 19!

That experience galvanized these men and women into what ended up being a lifelong friendship. My Dad was the State Chairman of a national survivors group and kept in touch with over 400 of them regularly. I can recall some epic parties with hundreds of families in our back yard under a tent, think Octoberfest. They started on Thursday and ended late Sunday afternoon. There was a lot of beer, food, and music, but also games for the children, did I mention there was beer? We had some great summers.

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Longevity – 77 years? Really, that’s it?

source: Gender life expectancy

Longevity is sometimes called lifespan and indicates the length of life in years a person can expect to live. Needless to say, many variables go into this calculation, but it is often used by governments, insurance companies, and healthcare providers, for projections, risk analysis, and benefits. Be aware that these are averages you see in reports and research, just take a look at this interactive chart based on 2011 data. That data hasn’t changed much either way since then. BTW, my wife and I are moving to Monaco!

So why is it something we need to think about? Retirement, money, and health. Depending on where you live, retirement may be as young as 55, from a company position. Many others officially retire at 65. Some work beyond that age, either part-time or volunteering for organizations until age catches up to them.

Once you retire, you are living off investments made before retirement, unless you had a rich relative that left a bunch of money to you. That length is longevity, and those funds determine what kind of lifestyle you will have.

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Beers list can potentially save your parent’s life!

You’ve done a great job monitoring your parents as they age, managing daily tasks, and getting help when needed. You have listed all their medications and keep track as they take them as prescribed. Good job!

But did you know there is a list of almost 100 medications that are potentially harmful to those over 65?

Photo by Haley Lawrence on Unsplash

Most people over 65 take at least one medication, with 66% of the population taking three or more, according to the CDC. The American Heart Association found that older adults in Cardiac ICUs are taking 12 medications on average. There are a lot of medications to manage in a critical situation! 

As you age, changes occur in how medications are metabolized in your body. Our liver is responsible for metabolizing drugs, and it’s the ability to filter slows down as we age. Remember from school that your liver filters everything you put in your mouth, up your nose, or in your arm. So, Love your Liver!  

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Question your Mom (or Dad) about everything.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

As we get back to work with fond memories of the holidays spent with family and friends, we recall the good times and conversations we enjoyed or endured. Hopefully, some of those were with our parents. It’s interesting that we can go about thinking we know a lot about our parents. After all, we’ve been around them our entire lives. We know foods they like, where they went to school, some of their friends, and maybe, even where they met and things about their life before they had children. But do we really know them?

If you have any experience with Dementia in whatever form, you know that memories can fade fast along with names and places. The further it progresses, the less your parents can remember. Except for the early years. It has something to do with storing significant and early events in your life and being able to recall them when needed.

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Guess who’s coming to Dinner…and Staying?!

Picture this. You and the family are sitting around the dinner table, having a lovely time enjoying food and conversation about school and work. Towards the end of the meal, your spouse says, “We have to talk about something.”

Photo by Travis Yewell on Unsplash

Everyone stops chewing and looks at each other, thinking, “What did I do now?” The children are breaking into a sweat racking their brains about what happened in school the last two weeks, trying to recall what they might have done that you didn’t hear about yet. Your spouse is doing the same, “Did I forget something, an anniversary, birthday, maybe offended someone?”

Your spouse finally breaks the silence and starts talking about Mom or Dad, they’re slowing down, that they’ve noticed some things around the house that aren’t getting done and that in the not so to distance future they may need to move to where someone can take better care of them. Your spouse then says those words you never thought they would say, 

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Are You Ready to Have THAT Conversation With Your Parents?

You remember “The Conversation” don’t you? Everybody dreads it. You can almost see it coming.  Your parents look as serious as you’ve ever seen them.  They sit way too close to you.  There’s a lot of deep breaths, sighs and them looking at each other as if to say, “you start.” Sometimes it’s just one, or it can be both if it’s going to be THAT conversation.  Then it comes.  Queue the eye roll.

Whether it’s about your grades, dating, smoking, drugs or sex, we’ve all been there at some point. We cringed because we thought they had no idea what they were talking about, they were soooo old after all, how could they possibly know more than you did about [fill-in-the-blank].

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